I hate where I live. I can’t relate to the other moms. There are two camps – the “perfect people” and the “special ed people” (who act like perfect people).
First I will describe the perfect people. The perfect people are first and foremost concerned about one thing: their image. These people have money, drive fancy cars, have “perfect” marriages, and above all — have perfect children. To them, their children reflect them. This is why such importance is placed on buying young kids the most expensive clothes, getting them the newest cell phone, having private tutoring, private sports coaching, private college advising. They brag about their child’s grades, friends, sports, belongings, accomplishments, achievements, acceptance letters, honors. Is life really so shallow?
I thought I might ‘fit’ better with the special ed parents. For sure, they have kids like mine. I went to various mom meetings at school, chatted with moms at pickup time, tried to connect with parents at birthday parties. What struck me was — these people are the same as the perfect people. They bragged about their child’s progress, their child’s achievements, their second homes, their home renovations, their perfect lives?!?! I was confused by this. How come no one spoke about the challenges, the difficulties, the setbacks, the roadblocks, the frustration, the sadness, the fear, the heartbreak? Did no one else feel it? Everyone was so content? Really?
I would move if I could, but my town happens to have excellent special ed services within the schools. This overrides my own dissatisfaction. I want my kids to have the best shot at life. Yeah, I’m angry that no one seems to be keeping it real. I guess that’s why I have this blog.
Angry Autism Mom's Blog 
Wait untill the school loses your child and he ends up in the middle of the freeway or he comes home with bruises on his legs or they have him take his pants off so they can take pictures of the bruises they left on him. And I could go on and on,I could spend the next week and not cover what the school systems get away with. Angry does not even come close!
I am the imperfections of a special ed person, while having specialties as a perfect person. At least that’s how I feel at times. You’re welcome to join my camp.
Stop beating yourself up! I know the drill, I’ve been down the same road. Believe this, it does get better, and a little easier as they get older. I have a son with the problems of both your boys in one body. Exhausting you bet! They feed off the emotions and activities around them. My son is 15 and we still review behaviors and what is exceptable to say and do at home and in public. I can feel your exhaustion and anger, just take it one situation at a time. STOP being angry with yourself!!!